the unknown territory ... the setting that disabled my usual instant head to toe careful observation...the me absent-minded that archived the whole thing as a regular event...the surface and on it the things said, nothing more than that...
in rewind,
...the eyes opened slightly more than appropriate, the tongue-breaking name I gave was pronounced back correctly showing the extra effort, the prolonged greeting eye contact coupled with second hand grabbing the handshake, the positioning straight across even though the seating arrangement was L-shaped, the legs spread open while sitting from the start, the leaning back position almost on elbows while I spoke, focus on my mouth, the straightening up movement forward when it was his turn to speak that invaded the decency of my touch distance , the slow head tilt and fingers across the chin, the touching of the right earlobe while other people spoke, then the showing of the open palm then the hand rubbing the neck, the press pause smiles that included eyes every time and the final mirroring dance in the looking forward to it segment.
...moondance.
...for someone fine tuned in catching the true meaning of the unspoken I once more managed to pull a total failure in noticing before it was too late.
***
When I flirt, I'm safe. The lines are straight and constant and I can remember and see them well, and the flirting itself is the external safety that subconsciously prevents accidental discharge.
When I don't flirt, thinking that the situation is by itself safe, that I needn't carry at all, prompted by the marvelous night happening around midday, the dance starts because I've chambered the round unintentionally and automatically released the hammer.
***
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